Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~John Updike
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf. ~Robert Lynd
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.~A.A. Milne
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. ~P.G. Wodehouse
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: it’s called an eraser.~Arnold Palmer
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.~Bobby Jones
I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right. ~Ben Crenshaw
Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. ~Arthur Daley
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it. ~Ted Ray
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. ~Paul Gallico
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it’s wrong but you can’t keep away from her. ~Val Doonican
Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. ~AuthorUnknown
It’s easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister’s fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification. ~Bruce McCall
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~Horace G. Hutchinson
They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.~Gardner Dickinson
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. ~Will Rogers
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death. ~Sam Snead
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~William Wordsworth
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. ~P.J. O’Rourke
The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. ~Author Unknown
Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent’s.~Grantland Rice
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. ~Joey Adams
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. ~Author Unknown
Golf is life. If you can’t take golf, you can’t take life. ~Author Unknown
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. ~Michael Green
Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. ~Huxtable Pippey
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf. ~Robert Lynd
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.~A.A. Milne
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. ~P.G. Wodehouse
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: it’s called an eraser.~Arnold Palmer
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.~Bobby Jones
I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right. ~Ben Crenshaw
Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. ~Arthur Daley
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it. ~Ted Ray
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. ~Paul Gallico
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it’s wrong but you can’t keep away from her. ~Val Doonican
Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. ~AuthorUnknown
It’s easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister’s fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification. ~Bruce McCall
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~Horace G. Hutchinson
They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.~Gardner Dickinson
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. ~Will Rogers
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death. ~Sam Snead
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~William Wordsworth
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. ~P.J. O’Rourke
The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. ~Author Unknown
Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent’s.~Grantland Rice
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. ~Joey Adams
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. ~Author Unknown
Golf is life. If you can’t take golf, you can’t take life. ~Author Unknown
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. ~Michael Green
Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. ~Huxtable Pippey
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