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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Golf Quotes II

I’ve spent most of my life golfing… the rest I’ve just wasted. ~Author Unknown

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken. ~Raymond Floyd

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.~John Updike

Even God has to practice his putting. ~Golf Saying

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. ~Pete Dye

I’d play every day if I could. It’s cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart. ~Brent Musburger

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. ~Lee Trevino

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~Jim Bishop

I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators. ~Gerald Ford

“Play it as it lies” is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is “Wear it if it clashes.” ~Henry Beard

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it. ~Jim Dent

It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot.
 ~Nubar Gulbenkian

Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses. ~Adlai Stevenson

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose. ~Gerald Ford

A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors. ~Barry Fitzgerald

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~Chi Chi Rodriguez, on his Puerto Rican accent

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.~Hank Aaron, 1971

One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot – the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something. ~Peter Jacobsen

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o’clock and make it go toward 12 o’clock. But make sure you’re in the same time zone. ~Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf isn’t like other sports where you can take a player out if he’s having a bad day. You have to play the whole game. ~Phil Blackmar

The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don’t really seem to know any more about the game than the old ones did. ~Robert Browning

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
 ~Rick Reilly

Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it’s unfair. It’s a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises…. It’s a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher. ~Jim Murray

Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out-of-doors. ~Paul O’Neil

Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance. ~Alistair Cooke

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins. ~Jim Murray

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
~Tommy Armour

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five. ~Paul Harvey

In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It’s a big difference. ~Dan Quayle

The average golfer doesn’t play golf. He attacks it. ~Jack Burke

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. ~Tiger Woods

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