Attachment

Man is in love and loves what vanishes.

What more is there to say?

– W. B. Yeats

Throughout our lives we repeatedly make attachments and lose them. We are taken with the rich color of leaves in the fall, but we know that this beauty will soon be replaced with stark, empty branches.

We give ourselves to caring for a baby, knowing someday this person will say good-bye to make his or her own life. We lie close to our lover in a special moment, yet we know that this, too, will be limited by the years of our lives.

We want to defiantly say, “No! If I can’t have permanence I’ll take nothing at all!” Most of us have wished we could outmaneuver life with such a power play. The loss feels so painful we might think holding back our love will save us pain.

But holding back brings a greater unhappiness.

When we submit to it, life is generous in its kaleidoscope of forms. Each attachment, each loss, is followed by more rewards and attachments. Loss and death itself are part of life.

There is peace in accepting and living fully in the cycle of seasons.

To be able to invite pain to join in my experience

and not have to control my life to avoid pain

is such a freedom!

– Christina Baldwin

If we really stopped to think about it, we would be astounded to discover how much of our time is spent trying to avoid pain.

We are afraid to say what we think or tell others our needs because we fear rejection.
We are afraid to face the pain of our own anger.
We are afraid of telling others who we are.

When we are afraid of opening up to others for fear they will hurt us, we are not free, we are prisoners of our own fears.

Pain is a natural part of life, and we are gifted with the ability to feel it.

Pain teaches us, makes us work harder sometimes, and it helps us appreciate pleasure.
When we accept pain, and stop exhausting ourselves trying to avoid it,
we will be free to live life more fully and without so much worry.