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All people who act want attention. And don’t let them tell you otherwise. My name is Holly, i’m 23 and i’m an actress, or actor if you like political correctness. I recently landed an audition for a supposedly major Hollywood movie called ’Guns and Lovers’; sounds like trash, I know, but we all have to start somewhere I suppose. Anyway, here’s the story of how it all went a bit pear shaped.
I moved to New York from a small town in England in search of a ‘big break.’ This is about to get very cliche but I was so strapped for cash and couldn’t afford a long term home, luckily, my agent of 4 years, Paul (who moved to New York with me) is a saint and let me stay at his rented apartment. Paul puts all his time and effort into me because, well…i’m his only actress (at the moment!) He’s 47, balding, and a failed actor himself, which isn’t very promising.
“This is it kidda!” He said staring out of the window at a non-existent view. “Your gonna be the next Liz Taylor, I f***ing know it!”
Oh, did I mention he swears every 10 seconds…
“Thanks for your enthusiasm, but I don’t even have any auditions lined up yet” I said, layed on my sofa bed eating M&Ms off my stomach
“Don’t worry love, I’ll get your f***ing auditions” he replied.
….That ‘conversation’ was 3 weeks before I got my first audition, the one for ‘Guns and Lovers’ I got sent a script and was given orders to rehearse the part of Amy ‘A gun slinging nun who packs a Godly punch.’ That was the actual description, I kid you not. Still, it was something. So a week later me and Paul caught a plane and headed out to Hollywood…
We got lost several times finding the place but we got there in the end. we rocked up, Paul looking like a character out of a film noir, with his hat and cigarette stained teeth and me looking like a sweaty possum. At first, I thought we were at the wrong place or VERY late as there were only about 5 other girls there auditioning, about 30 minuets later, my name got called.
“For f**ks sake, don’t f**k it up.” Paul whispered as I got up. He meant it aswell.
I followed the man into a small office where two people were sat at a desk scrawny bald man wearing a baseball cap and a larger more burly man who was wearing a shirt about four sizes too small for him. I smiled at both of them and the burly one said in a surprisingly high pitched voice:
“Ok, Holly, is it?”
“Yes.” I replied
“Ok Holly we would like you to read line 5 on page 107 please. When your ready.”
I rifled through my script. “Umm it’s-”
“Is there a problem, Holly?” The skinny one said. I resisted the urge to cry at this point
“When you’re ready then.”
I took a breath and read the line
“F**k you. F**k you.” I thought
“Thanks Holly” the big one said “We will be giving you a call if we are interested.”
“Thank you for this opportunity” I said in a dry, sarcastic tone which they didn’t pick up on and I left. As I was walking out the room, I spotted Paul through the glass doors having a cigarette.
Suddenly, the two blokes came chasing after me, I thought I was going to be mugged for a split second, I turned round and saw a camera man, they went on to say.
“You were the first of our audition-ees to have kept their cool when asked to rehearse a whole script and only be asked to say one line. And for that you have won a year’s supply of Hot Topic coupons.”
So that’s why those girls were storming out of that office, I thought it was just their way of walking in 10 inch heels like that.
“How do you feel?”
I stared at them both. “…. Oh f**k off. It was acting.”
I stormed out with a confused Paul, the two men and a camera man hot on my heels. And for the first time, I felt like a celebrity.