Mulla Nasruddin had a ferryboat, and when times were not good he would carry passengers from one bank to the other.
One day a great scholar was crossing in his ferryboat to the other shore. The Scholar asked Nasruddin, "Do you know the Koran? Have you learned the scriptures?"
Nasruddin said, "No, no time."
The scholar said, "Half your life has been wasted."
Then suddenly there arose a storm and the small boat was far from the shore. At any moment it would sink. Asked Nasruddin, "Schoolmaster, do you know how to swim?"
The man was very afraid, perspiring. He said, "No."
Said Nasruddin, "Then your WHOLE life has been wasted. I am going!"
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Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend how he got started in the bank business.
"I was out of work," he said, "so to keep busy, I rented an empty store, and painted the word 'BANK' on the window. The same day, a man came in and deposited $300. Next day, another fellow came in and put in $250.
Well, sir, by the third day I 'd got so much confidence in the venture that I put in $50 of my own money".
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A snorer in a movie house was disturbing the audience. When patrons yelled to cut it out, the snorer snapped: "I paid for the seat and I will do as I please!"
"Sure," howled Mulla Nasrudin from the back row, "but you are keeping everybody awake!"
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It seemed to the father of Mulla Nasrudin that, now that his son had turned thirteen, it was important to discuss these matters which an adolescent ought to know about life.
So he called Nasrudin into the study one evening, shut the door careful, and said with impressive dignity: "Son, I would like to discuss the facts of life with you."
"Sure thing, Dad," said Nasrudin. "What do you want to know?"
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When old Mulla Nasrudin was asked why he talked to himself, he replied: "IT IS BECAUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I LIKE TO TALK TO A SMART MAN, AND IN THE SECOND PLACE, BECAUSE I LIKE TO HEAR A SMART MAN TALK."
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Paddy lurches out of the pub and bumps straight into Father Murphy, the village priest.
"Patrick," says the priest, "I am so sorry to see you come out of such a place as that!"
"Well, then," says Paddy, turning around, "I will go right back."
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Mulla Nasrudin's young wife, recently returned from her honeymoon, was complaining to her friend about her husband's drinking habits.
"If you knew he drank, why did you marry him?" her friend asked.
"I DID NOT KNOW HE DRANK," said Nasrudin's wife, "UNTIL ONE NIGHT HE CAME HOME SOBER."
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"Is there any reason why the board should not draft you into the army, Mulla?"
"Yes, I have defective eyesight," said Mulla Nasrudin.
"Are you able to substantiate that claim?"
"WELL -- HERE'S A PHOTOGRAPH OF MY WIFE."
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"These spoons which your aunt gave us as a wedding present are not real silver," announced Mulla Nasrudin.
"Do you know anything about silver, Mulla?" asked his wife.
"No," replied Nasrudin, "but I know a lot about your aunt."
One day a great scholar was crossing in his ferryboat to the other shore. The Scholar asked Nasruddin, "Do you know the Koran? Have you learned the scriptures?"
Nasruddin said, "No, no time."
The scholar said, "Half your life has been wasted."
Then suddenly there arose a storm and the small boat was far from the shore. At any moment it would sink. Asked Nasruddin, "Schoolmaster, do you know how to swim?"
The man was very afraid, perspiring. He said, "No."
Said Nasruddin, "Then your WHOLE life has been wasted. I am going!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend how he got started in the bank business.
"I was out of work," he said, "so to keep busy, I rented an empty store, and painted the word 'BANK' on the window. The same day, a man came in and deposited $300. Next day, another fellow came in and put in $250.
Well, sir, by the third day I 'd got so much confidence in the venture that I put in $50 of my own money".
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A snorer in a movie house was disturbing the audience. When patrons yelled to cut it out, the snorer snapped: "I paid for the seat and I will do as I please!"
"Sure," howled Mulla Nasrudin from the back row, "but you are keeping everybody awake!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It seemed to the father of Mulla Nasrudin that, now that his son had turned thirteen, it was important to discuss these matters which an adolescent ought to know about life.
So he called Nasrudin into the study one evening, shut the door careful, and said with impressive dignity: "Son, I would like to discuss the facts of life with you."
"Sure thing, Dad," said Nasrudin. "What do you want to know?"
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When old Mulla Nasrudin was asked why he talked to himself, he replied: "IT IS BECAUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I LIKE TO TALK TO A SMART MAN, AND IN THE SECOND PLACE, BECAUSE I LIKE TO HEAR A SMART MAN TALK."
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Paddy lurches out of the pub and bumps straight into Father Murphy, the village priest.
"Patrick," says the priest, "I am so sorry to see you come out of such a place as that!"
"Well, then," says Paddy, turning around, "I will go right back."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mulla Nasrudin's young wife, recently returned from her honeymoon, was complaining to her friend about her husband's drinking habits.
"If you knew he drank, why did you marry him?" her friend asked.
"I DID NOT KNOW HE DRANK," said Nasrudin's wife, "UNTIL ONE NIGHT HE CAME HOME SOBER."
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"Is there any reason why the board should not draft you into the army, Mulla?"
"Yes, I have defective eyesight," said Mulla Nasrudin.
"Are you able to substantiate that claim?"
"WELL -- HERE'S A PHOTOGRAPH OF MY WIFE."
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"These spoons which your aunt gave us as a wedding present are not real silver," announced Mulla Nasrudin.
"Do you know anything about silver, Mulla?" asked his wife.
"No," replied Nasrudin, "but I know a lot about your aunt."
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