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Showing posts with label Philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philosophy. Show all posts

Monday, May 7, 2012

The Miraculous Night


Outside it’s dark. Port-au-Prince and its surroundings are in total darkness. The clock on the wall marks nearly eight hours. The first anniversary of the horror of September 11 approaching, the screen facing the bed, she sees the same emotion in the news, images confusing, upsetting, and commemorating the loss last year of more than three miles innocent. Her little boy of eight, as she looks and says nothing, whiles the crisp “egg rolls” that they soak in a dish containing Chinese sauce. They remember … They never forget.
Two, maybe three minutes, drain, other images of harsh realities related in Unsolved Mysteries, like every night of the week, March. Below the room, the noise caused by the iron fence with relief he announced the arrival of her husband.
“Open the door, open the door!” Understands she suddenly shout, with the danger, in a voice shrill, panicked. A first shot weapon tears the quiet of the night, and as in a nightmare, resonates throughout the house. She jumped out of bed, the flat of his hands, flew into the air. No sooner had she time to scream to her daughter of eighteen years, connected to the net in the office next door to shelter, she locks herself with a double turn with her son to protect him.
A second blow nearer did move to a second state, that no words would come, she says, to portray. His daughter in tears, called his father who is not responding. She now understands that the attackers are in the house! The lock on the door of the room low yield from one moment to another, she thinks, desperate. On the balcony, with all her might, she shouts the names of his neighbors, who just a few breaths meet around assisted by their guards. The ensuing gun fire makes him think about shooting on the fronts of war film.
On the tiles above his head in rain fall hundreds of splinters. “You hear the magic glitter?” She strangely inspired to tell his little boy to reassure him, squeezing him tightly in his arms. She thinks so many others who have experienced similar moments. The fatalities; suddenly an immense force to invade the calm. She began to thank God in a low voice for all his benefits. Twice before, the one who shares his life for over twenty years has escaped the violence, she herself more than once and her children too. She clings to that thought. In the house she heard the sobs increasingly weakened her daughter calling her father still does not respond.
The long silence that follows suggests that it is all over this time for her husband, perhaps even for his daughter. Images of his life in rapid sequence parade in his head. She imagines … imagine … Four, five, ten, twenty minutes? The time is gone.
Then like a dream, she thinks hesitant voice of her husband: “They’re off! Call a doctor! “First, it is hard to believe. “It’s Papi is Papi?” Asked his son, in a burst of hope. She has no voice, she just shakes her head affirmatively, slightly open, shaking the door of their room. Fixed, standing before her, her husband’s face, neck, stomach bleeding, without a word looks. The tiles are stained ivory bearings also his blood … It touches, it is cold. “I’m going,” he stammers, quietly, her lips barely moving, collapsing on the bed. Bewildered, shocked, in a giddy, it is observed by lifting the handset. Of the two phone lines, answering said that they “count is zero!”. As for phones, the word “Roam” is written on the dials, instead of numbers it tries desperately to score! So in a strange silence, she closes her eyes for a moment, to keep his lucidity. Daddy please, she said their son …
She pulls the door of the house without looking back. She forgets the oven on. Nothing matters more. His son, barefoot, is in her arms. In the street lit by the headlights, a dozen cars of friends, other friends of friends she does not know, surrounded by their guards are there to assist them to accompany her to the hospital husband now in the arms of their eldest daughter, so brave.
In the miraculous night, she hears the siren. In its wake, she sees the light reddish swirl … It’s not a dream. That life is fragile, she told herself. The way to the hospital in the car following the accompanying her husband, seems so long. He who leads, she sees for the first time. It is not known. With calm and compassion, he tries to reassure her, while on the radio communication voices fuse.
At the bedside of her husband, still on the stretcher, family and more than fifty friends are there. Doctors from all sides. The waiting room is invaded to comfort. Time evaporates at a rate that it can not evaluate … Finally, she heard the chief physician rule, “He does not see in one eye, but he will live!”
In another attack, one who was with him in the car, in turn, now finds himself paralyzed from head to toe, the column cut off by a gun!

Prison Break: Part 1: First two years and a distant dream.


In the winter of 2000 I got sentenced for seven years for murder of my neighbour. Though that’s a different story how I got into this murder but to cut it short I didn’t kill the guy, but everything was framed so well that if I would be sitting on the other side of the table I will definitely feel that I was the murderer.
It was my first time in the prison and when you are fresher you really face very tough time during your initial days and so were with me. I wasn’t that a tough guy, but slowly with time I made my space in prison. In prison time moves very slowly, as you generally don’t have many activities to do. I was never an avid book reader, but it become my interest and also started writing few things. First tried on daily diary, but prison isn’t the right place, as in prison what will I write about. Most of the days my diary entry would look like:
Woke up at 6. Formed a line for breakfast at 6:30. Waited in line to eat that same old shitty breakfast which you will never eat even if you get that food for free. But of course as usual you get very less options in prison.
After breakfast got ready for work at 7:15. Today I worked in Foundry workshop, I had planned to cast a dummy car, I gave a try but was unable to make a good mould. May be tomorrow if supervisor will allow I will try once more.
At 11:30 I went back to lunch, today I found that Roger, inmate who is in this prison for last 40 years died in the prison due to heartache. I wonder what he was doing in this prison for last 40 years. But as usual the normal answer you get from everyone here is, that you can get in here but getting out is not possible. I don’t believe all this, these are the imaginations of losers. After getting this reading habit I have got lot of positive energy in me and I m sure I will break free from this place very soon. I m going to use this time in prison very judiciously, going to enhance my knowledge and overcome my shortcomings like short temperedness, impatience and some other issues which I have.
By 12:00 we again formed the line to go for work at stone crusher station. This is something I really don’t like, this kind of work doesn’t involve any creativity and it makes me very tired. Sometimes it becomes hard for me to even come back and read a single page of a book. This job ends at 4:30
From 4:30-5:00 pm we took shower today and got ready for dinner. At 5 dinner happens, it seems too early but you are really hungry after such a day that you can even eat dirt.
At 5:30 pm it’s a time for mail call and medication, this is time when I sometimes read for other inmates as I m one of the most educated men in the prison. I like doing this work as it somehow connects me to outside world, most of the letters are full of emotions but I have got use to reading them. I always wait for the letter which tell me about some latest movie or may be someone has gone to some new place for travelling or something. But it was a bad day, I read two letters and that had some sad news in them.
6:00 pm is time when we go for outside recreation, television, hobby shop, self-help groups etc. Usually we don’t get to see much of television as this has caused lots of issues as most of inmates have different level of interests. So I started visiting a small library of our prison, usually it’s a quiet place where very few people visit. Although today I had planned to do some gym but again, I preferred my good old place library. Today I found that most of the books in the library are very old. Even the magazines are somewhere like 6-7 years old. I m planning to talk to someone, maybe warden to get some new novels or magazine editions. But I feel afraid to talk to him as I don’t want to get into his eyes much. Its always better to keep a low profile at such places.
At 9:00 pm count happens and we all get back to our cells. Cells get locked and we have an hour and half time with lights to do our stuff. After that lights go out. Today I just feel like doing nothing, may be that letter which I read for Justine is making me sad, I don’t know what is this emptiness which is making me low. But I have to get away with it, as at a place like prison once you get engrossed with something you can’t get rid of it easily. So after finishing my diary today I m going to sleep early.
So that’s a typical day’s entry. After few days of doing daily entry I found that diary writing became a boring and sad job. So I started writing short stories. But I judged myself that I m not a good writer but I found very good topics to write. So I kept writing even if it wasn’t so good.
First year passed, I made few acquaintances but not many friends in the prison, maybe I wasn’t the kind of guy who someone will prefer to befriend with. In my second year of prison some new inmates joined in. And one day I found one of the new inmates has started visiting the library, though we didn’t talk much but from his outlook he didn’t seem like a guy who will like to visit library. He had huge build, with strong muscles all over him. His body was mostly tattooed with strange symbols on him. So normally I would avoid such a person. But he started coming to that same place almost daily and one day he spoke with me. His name was Ruffus Nichels, he was imprisoned for involvement in some bank robbery where his other partners got killed and he got arrested. I told him my story, though I don’t share my true stories with others as it seems funny to tell people that you are in prison for no crime. At least I use to get some respect for murdering someone. But still I told him, he took it normally and just asked me one thing what are my future plans. I didn’t get him completely when he asked me such a thing, I wanted to tell him that I m in here for next 6 years and he will be here for next 5 or 6 years so what kinds of plans should I think of. Actually he didn’t give me a chance to say anything, he moved back to TV room after asking me this.
That night I wondered on that question what is my future now, After 6 years will it be easy to adjust outside, will I be able to get some job, and how will people react to see a person who had spent 7 years for murder. These questions were something which screwed my night. It made me remember my initial days of prison when it was so difficult to sleep here. I use to get a feeling that my 7×10 feet room is falling on me, you I m unable to breathe, but then slowly I got use to it. I found my solution by closing my eyes and don’t see anything once those lights are out. So I did the same that night and closed my eyes till I fell in sleep.
Next day, same time in library we met again, immediately I asked him the same question “what is your future?” and he looked at me very strangely, and he said “have you ever been to Himalayas, there is small town, which gets snow only for about 4 months and full year of sunshine. The view from that place is so beautiful that even the Gods can get jealous. And you know I m going to live at that place by end of this winters.” He was so confident when he told me that thing of his, I thought he is definitely a crazy guy I should immediately start avoiding him, But honestly when I imagined that place it seemed beautiful but only imagination, imagination doesn’t do any good in prison. Before I said anything he asked me “what are your plans my friend?”
To be continued…

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Creative Control


“Don’t say anything else!” pleads Erica, maintaining eye contact through tear-streaked eyes. Examining the faces of her friends, she knows they needed convincing, that they had to understand. Survival depended on it.
A few minutes ago, there were eight of them, happy and oblivious, not knowing how close to the edge they were. Now, with two down, they were closer than ever to the truth, and in turn, death. They need to know everything, Erica realized, but he can never find out. He had to be kept in the dark. In a flash of irony, the answer strikes her, and she lowers her head, defeated. Of course I know, well before she does.
The eight of them had traveled the long stretch of highway in two cars, a fact that Leon never let them forget. Every group has a Leon: frugal to a fault, schedule conscious, organized. For days leading up to the trip, he had been comparing prices on rentals, calculating mileage, and generally figuring how to save as much money as possible. He planned to rent a minibus, but everyone else stopped listening to his advice long ago, and by his calculations, their gas price was now double. His frustration had turned to annoyance early in the trip, while at dinner. After eating a salad and watching everyone else gorge on combo meals and beer, the table insisted on splitting the bill. Little things added up all along the road, and by the time they had turned off into the secluded trail to the cabin, Leon had decided he’d rather be anywhere else. Only the odd passing glance at Laurie, the fleeting hope, kept what little he had left of his spirits up. Maybe this was finally it. Maybe.
The sun pierced through the canopy of trees in staccato rhythm, a natural strobe, partially obscuring Laurie’s vision as she drove. She raised her hand to lower the sun-visor. She could sense it then, as she always could: Leon was staring at her again. Glancing to the backseat, she made eye contact, adding a quick smile to really rub it in. Leon swiftly looked anywhere else, as if something in the trees was suddenly fascinating. At this point, she wasn’t really sure what she thought of Leon, but didn’t see the harm in messing with his head. Besides, he wasn’t that bad to look at, and if the timing was right, she entertained the idea. Perhaps.
“Why are we slowing down?” Phil asked, sitting in the passenger seat across from Laurie. Up ahead, the brake-lights on the second car flared red.
“No clue, these roads aren’t maintained for shit.” She swore, but I won’t count that against her. Yet. Everybody gets one.
Phil lost interest fast, and returned to his phone, surfing the net in the middle of nowhere. Brightly-coloured nipples and flesh beamed at him from a 2-inch screen.
“Is that porn?” Laurie inquired, both curious and a little bit intrigued. From the backseat, Leon and Jenn both leaned forward with keen interest. Jenn, normally quiet but willing to take the piss out of anyone when the opportunity arose, was the first to speak up. “How do you see anything on that tiny screen?”
“It’s just a little taste.” Phil stated, grinning. Turning to Laurie, a devious gleam in his eye, he spoke with the suave cadence known to get him laid more often than not, “Don’t worry, I brought the portable DVD and the good stuff for us.”
From the backseat, Leon watched as Laurie grinned uncomfortably, an almost defensive maneuver. ‘Good’, thought Leon, ‘came across a little bit creepy there, asshole’. I agree.
Turning back to the road, Laurie noticed something wrong with the car in front. It began to swerve on the narrow pathway, a little at first, but growing in intensity as time rushed past. She motioned to the lead car “what the hell?”
The four of them watched helplessly as the inside of the front car exploded, a shower of blood and flesh spreading across all the windows, as if pressurized. Laurie slammed on her brakes as the lead car swerved into the ditch, rolling over.
In shocked silence, they sat there, staring forward. The rear doors of the front car swung open painfully, and someone started crawling out. All at once, Jenn breaks the silence. “We have to help them.” Finally, some reaction time. A point for Jenn.
All at once the rear car empties, the four rushing up to help their friends. The first person out of the front car is Barry, a short, stocky fellow with some early male-pattern baldness. He also happens to be covered head to toe with blood and pieces of flesh, staring forward with his shocked eyes glowing white, a crazed look of disbelief on his face. He’s speaking gibberish, until he makes eye contact with Phil. “Fucking exploded. He just…..”
Laurie and Jenn have rounded the other side of the overturned car, and bend down to look inside. Both of their friends on the passenger side are hurt, but alive. Erica and Mike are helped to their feet, the same dazed expressions covering their gore soaked bodies.
“What the hell happened?” asks Laurie, not really wanting to hear the answer. Erica just stares at her, unable to put her thoughts into words. She’s starting to understand, but can’t quite formulate the complete thought. I’ll give her time.
Leaning further into the car, Jenn makes eye contact with Phil through the gruesome interior. The whole thing is covered with what used to be Scott, shreds of his clothing bunched up among hunks of flesh, decorating the car. Jenn saw one of his shoes, foot still inside, and turned from the sight. She stumbled to the side of the road and vomited.
Erica watched as Jenn stands back up, a disgusted look on her face. She glanced around at her remaining friends, and still can’t bring herself to speak. Aside from the fact that Scott just spontaneously exploded, something just wasn’t right here. She could feel it. Of course, she’s right.
Laurie steps back, angry and confused. She yelled out to everyone at once, “Could someone tell what the fuck just happened?” In a blink of an eye, she explodes, showering her friends with a blast wave of blood and bone fragment, enough force to drive them to the ground. I told you, everyone gets one.
Erica pointed to where Laurie just stood, and exclaims “That! That’s what happened.”
Phil looked around, disbelief on his face, “What do you mean? Scott just fucking exploded? People don’t just do that!” That’s one.
All at once it hits her, and Erica knows. She knows, and she’s in the moment, she’s existing in the present. It’s her time to live, a gnats life, and she’s going to make every second count. She remembers. It’s too horrible to believe, but she knows it’s the truth. She knows the rules, and she has to save her friends. She’s going to try, but I know there’s no hope. Pity.
“Don’t say anything else!” she pleads.
“What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense.” Leon exclaims, regaining his footing and picking little pieces of bone out of the side of his face.
Erica shakes her head. She has to make them understand, but she can’t let him know. But he already knows. I know everything. “If you piss him off, he’ll kill you.”
They stare at each other silently a moment, Phil in particular sizing up Erica, trying to make sense of her words. “Who is he? Who are you talking about?”
“I can’t tell you. If I tell you, he’ll kill me too.” Erica searches her mind, her thoughts racing, looking at every angle. How can she do this? How can it be different this time?
Jenn breaks in, “Look, we have to get help. Anyone’s cell phone work?” Patting themselves down, a look of confusion washes over the group. “Where’s my phone?”
Barry shakes his head, and dives back into the car, searching through the splattered interior. “Where is it, where is it, come on, where is it?!?”
“Your phones are gone.” Erica answers, the only one not frantically searching. In the distance, a bird cries out, and Erica freezes, fear washing over her face. The rest of the group stops searching, and looks at Erica in disbelief. Phil is the first to speak.
“You keep talking like you know something. What aren’t you telling us? What do you mean the phones are gone?” He approaches Erica, imposing and somewhat threatening. I don’t like this much.
Erica shakes her head, pleading, “He just took them away. Look, you just have to trust me, we have to stop talking. It’s the only way.” Little does she know, mere  thought can kill.
“No, no, fuck that. You know something, spill it.” Exclaims Phil, still angry.
In the sky above, the bird cries out again, closer now. Erica looks up, fear in her eyes. New tears form, streaming down her cheeks. Her face fills with pain for her friend, knowing what’s coming next. She speaks softly, “I’m sorry….”
A large shadow swoops over the group, something massive flying over them, low and fast. A whoosh of air rushes through them, kicking up dirt. Phil looks up, and screams. A massive bird, prehistoric and somewhat demonic, swoops down at him. He’s snatched in the thing’s massive talons, and lifted into the air.
On the ground, the friends scream helplessly as Phil is lifted high above them, and then dropped. The ‘asshole’ screams in terror as he plummets to the earth, striking the ground at their feet with a wet thump. There’s no saving him. In truth, there’s no saving any of them. I apologize in advance.
Barry screams out first, quickly cutting his words as he sees Erica aggressively raise her index finger to her lips. “What the fu—?” She silences him.
Jenn grabs Leon by the shoulder, and pulls him back, motioning for them to crouch. They stare up at the sky, searching for the monstrous bird. Barry remains staring at Erica, who simply stands there. Jenn calls out “We have to find cover, it could come back.”
Erica looks to Jenn, and responds coldly, “It won’t make a difference.”
There’s silence for a few moments, when something catches Leon’s eye: a small piece of jewelry, glittering in the sun, sitting in a pool of thick blood. Earrings, once belonging to Laura, bits of flesh still attached. All at once, sadness hits him like a wave, years of pent up emotion, of hopes and dreams, crashing down at once. She was his ‘one’, even if she didn’t know it. He turns to Erica, “Tell me what’s happening…. Please…”
Erica’s face fills with pain, and she desperately wants to tell him. She knows the specifics, but has to be vague. She shakes her head, “He’s watching us, sees everything, hears everything. You can’t make him angry.” She misunderstands me.
Jenn has had enough, but holds her tongue. Her thoughts are crimson, pangs of anger with no direction or target. Drifting to a visage of her mother, and their last moments together, two nights ago. Something in the way she looked at her, a hint of approval after all these years, a long overdue smile. She wanted to get back to that, to the loving embrace, a bond finally built after so many years of coldness. To her family, her pets, her life. She stands, new resolve on her face, and begins to walk away from the group, back toward the highway.
Barry calls after her, “Where are you going?”
Responding, a sense of determination in her voice, she moves like a woman possessed. New strength flows through her, a survival instinct cultivated from a history of strong female leads, a hero in the making. A Final Girl. “I’m walking to the highway. There’s no way I’m dying like this.”
She steps forward to the sound of a click. Looking down, she notices two metal pins sticking out of the dirt, and lifts her foot slightly, carefully. There is a whirring noise, and her eyes fill with fear. She turns to look at her friends, and locks eyes with Erica. She sees pain in her friend’s face, but also a strange calm, a detached expression. Like she knows.
The ground below Jenn’s feet bursts upward, spewing dirt and launching the mine into the air. It explodes at her midsection, vaporizing her upper body, leaving bloody stumps and spreading her body across the road. Sorry Jenn, nobody gets out that easily.
Barry watches as Jenn bursts, eyes wide as his sanity leaves him. He rushes at Erica, tackling her to the ground. “Tell me what the fuck is going on? Tell me now!” He holds her down aggressively, his face filled with wild rage.
Seeing this, Leon rushes to the rescue, throwing his shoulder into Barry like he’d imagine a football player would. The two men topple over, leaving Erica panting on the ground. As they struggle, Erica turns to them and pleads, “Stop! You’ll just piss him off!”
Barry quickly gains the upper-hand, delivering a fury of blows to Leon’s head. Punch after punch lands, turning Leon’s face to pulp. He’s alive, but dazed. Looking over at Erica, Barry moves toward her.
Staring up at the sky through his broken face, Leon realizes that his entire life, all the calculation, all the worrying, amounted to nothing in this moment. Striking him at exactly the wrong time to make a difference, he learns that sometimes you simply can’t plan, and have to let instinct take over. With his last bit of energy, he pulls himself to his feet, and stumbles toward Barry.
Barry is pulled to the ground before he reaches Erica, choked into the dirt as Leon uses everything he’s got left to try and make a difference. To be the better man, the hero of his own story. Only Erica knows that this isn’t his tale, he’s merely a player.
A piercing shriek fills the air, and the ground rumbles. Erica sits up, preparing for the inevitable. She looks at Barry and Leon as they struggle, and stands.
With a sudden jolt, a large metal spike protrudes from the earth below Barry’s head, piercing his skull. Leon is sprayed with blood, and jumps back, in total shock. He watches in terror as the head of the spike separates into four, folding back to resemble a grappling hook. The shriek fills the air once more, and the hook pulls back, bringing Barry’s impaled head with it. With a crunching of bone Barry’s entire body is dragged into the ground, headfirst. A geyser of blood rushes from the hole in the ground, homage to any number of things. I never really liked Barry anyway. He was a redshirt, even before he was covered in blood.
Leon looks from the gory mess of Barry’s instant grave, to the cold face of Erica. She stands over her last remaining friend, and smiles. “I tried. I really tried, I’m sorry.”
In an instant, Leon begins to remember as well. A wall of denial tumbles down, and he sees his place in the world for what it is. He sees the falsehood of every single piece of himself, the joke of existence. He smiles at Erica, thinking of nothing better to do, and speaks one last time, “Fuck, this is going to hurt.” With that, he explodes, showering Erica once more with blood.
Erica looks around her, at the remains of her close friends, the people she’d known her entire short life. Anger takes her, finally, and she screams out, to nobody in particular, “Do you get off on this, you sick fuck?” There’s no answer, because there’s no narrator. “Tell me, do you get off on all this shit, on all this suffering? Why do you do this to us, what gives you the right? What makes you so special, huh?!?”
In the distance, the monstrous bird cries out, startling Erica for just a moment. “I know what’s coming, and I’m not afraid. Bring it on, you son of a bitch! You might kill me, but you’ll still be just some pathetic loser in a dark room somewhere, probably living in your mother’s basement. Probably can’t even get it up, you fucking shell of a man!” She’s well past two strikes.
The shadow of the monstrous bird flies over her, blocking out the sun for a few brief seconds. She knows it all, sees what’s coming for her. Knows there’s nothing she can do. As the creature closes in, she feels the wind first, and closes her eyes. In a quick flash, she’s lifted into the air, the feeling of weightlessness taking her, causing butterflies in her stomach. She remembers her childhood, driving back-roads with her dad, jumping the foothills. The feeling of the car taking air, the freedom and thrill. She remembers her sisters, the look on her first love’s face, that moment she knew deep down that life is going to be okay. The moment she truly believed she had a bright future. She remembers all of this, because I want her to. It’s all false, but it comforts her nonetheless.
Now, she’s falling, plummeting to the earth. Mere seconds, and she’ll hit the ground, every thought and dream gone. All lost, forever. I want to comfort her as she falls, to tell her the real truth behind it all. The mystery behind the veil.
She thinks she understands, but she only sees part of it. She will live on, forever, existing again every time someone reads this. Her, and all of her friends. They’ll all keep coming back to life, or more accurately, to existence, in the imaginations of every new reader. Even Mike, who I only mentioned once, will live briefly until he fades to nothingness due to a fault in my storytelling.
I gave her life, as I did the roads they traveled, the vehicles they drove, and the bird that dropped her. She lives in my mind, and the minds of the readers, and nowhere else. But she lives, all the same. And now she dies, all the same. As she hits the ground I want to introduce myself, to take credit for the short flicker of her existence, to experience her hate or love firsthand. Would she greet me with disdain or acceptance? Would she value her short life, or simply want the cycle to stop? Would she realize that the power I hold to destroy, I can also use to create? That all it would take is words on a page to change her circumstance, to break the loop?
As Erica meets the ground once again, I impart my message, I give her awareness. I make sure she remembers next time. I suggest that maybe she can change things, but I know it’s false hope. I hold all the cards. I’m the writer.

What’s your one wish?


God once gave just one man one wish.
This man wished for someone that would be forever beautiful; to be in love eternally- that was his one wish.
God granted this wish and the man lived madly and deeply in love for many lifetimes. He sat with his lover in orbit  and watched Redwood trees grow from saplings, existing sturdy for 2,000 years, never needing to budge because trees get it right the first time, but even a tree grows weary after two decades. The man and his lover watched them grey and fall and become part of the earth once again. They saw the beginnings and the endings to many things.
As the universe expands time stretches; and so did the couple, stretch apart. The man was old and weary like a Redwood that’s done all there is to do as a tree. His lover was still young, beautiful, imperfect in all the right ways.
Eventually time stretches across a galaxy and the couple would sometimes wave to each other from passing planets.
One minute of one day of many lifetimes (a spec of dust in a long abandoned house, one grain of sand on the Earth, one lonely tear in the vast oceans of shed despondence) the man and his lover ended up unusually close to one another. They had not heard each others voices in many eons (a blink of god’s eye, a drop in the tidal waves of time the man and his lover had existed) but the man still remembered his lover’s voice, like they had never stopped conversing.
Somehow- after so long- he was taken aback all over again by his lover’s beauty. And there was a distinct and perplexing feeling of nothing in the basis of himself, in his roots.
And with that, he set his lover free.
The man had finally learned- nothing is eternal.

Women Through The Centuries


“Thank you, gentlemen, for attending this board meeting on such short notice,”stressed Beatrice Smyth. She continued, “As the board knows, we are on the edge of possibly losing our cornerstone account, the Jeep account.I don’t have to tell you how important this account is to our firm; it’s everything we have prided ourselves on in this agency. The Jeep account can take our agency where we need to go to position ourselves in the year 2100.The competing advertising agency is tough, but we can go one better. Because today, ladies and gentlemen of the board, I personally am going to visit the Jeep marketing team and ask the burning question, “Does Jeep want the lowest cost agency work, or do they want a partner?”Beatrice has such conviction!“Board Members, I tell you we will have our largest account back by 4pm today,” Beatrice promises.
Later that day, about 4:35pm, Beatrice phoned her secretary, “Brian, chill the Dom Perignon Champagnes, I am on my way back to the office with the signed Jeep contract!” Beatrice screams, “YES”. She struts into her lavish office, while top management is waiting to toast THE sales closer, Beatrice. “Tell us Beatrice”, asks a top sales executive, “What is the secret you possess to always close the biggest deals?” As Beatrice sips her champagne, her eyes beam, her smile looks rather defiant, she delivers, “It’s a gift”.
She dashes off from the office in her Mercedes CLK550, checks her answering machine from her cell phone.She finds she has one message from her maid asking her not to forget she scheduled a home massage, manicure, pedicure, and facial at 8pm. The maid elaborated that she baked fresh chicken tortellini and that bank phoned and left a message.The bank asked if Beatrice could stop by on her way home and pick up her safety deposit box contents, as the branch is moving locations.The bank manager would wait at the bank for Beatrice’s arrival.After Beatrice retrieved this message, she made a quick detour tuned and headed up the Pacific Costal Highway towards Laguna Beach Trust Bank.She pulled into the lot, knocked on the bank door and the branch manager, good ‘ole Harold, opened the door and let Bea in. “Well hello, Bea”, Harold continues, “I hope this is not an inconvenience of you to pick up your safety deposit box contents, but we really much have them cleared out by the owners for the move.I can follow you home and make sure everything is ok, Bea.” “No thanks, Harold, I am sure I am quite sale, but thank you anyway.”Bea replied in a condescending manner.Harold got the safety deport box and proceeds to help Bea put the contents into her briefcase. Beatrice forgot what all she had in her deposit box, she especially forgot about me.
What am I you might ask? I am a shiny gold piece from the sixteenth century.
What a pleasure to have Beatrice’s eyes stare at me again with their trancelike power.Not to mention how happy I was to get out of that box in the bank vault.Somehow I knew destiny would get me out of there and back into Beatrice’s life again, and the bank move was the perfect way.“I forgot all about my gold piece,” Beatrice informs Harold. “It sure is a beauty,” Harold comments.“Well, Harold, I’m off.I have some celebrating to do tonight,” Bea informs him.“Your ad agency sure is a terrific success,” Harold blurts out.“Blood, sweat, and tears, Harold,” Bea sharply interjects.“Now that you have made it, Bea, maybe you should think about settling down”, Harold advises. “Why on earth would I want to do that, Harold? I have all the best life has to offer.” On that note, Bea exits.
Bea carries her briefcase into her newly built custom home.She proceeds to the dinner table, drinks more champagne, giggles for a while, and then she waits for the masseuse to arrive at her home for her spa treatments. After a miraculous massage, a marvelous manicure, a perfect pedicure, and fabulous facial, Bea runs her bath water with detoxification bath salts. Bea strolls into the bathroom.“What a great coin, Bea tells me, “If only could could talk, little coin, I am sure you could tell some marvelous stories,” Bea says to me.Bea sets me down on the vanity, relaxes in the whirlpool, and drinks off to a light sleep.In her dream, she goes back in time, back to the seventeenth century.
In her dream, Bea asks me, “Where have you been little gold coin, and what stories do you wish to share with me?” So Bea and I began to travel, we started off in the seventeenth century, in the Jamestown colony…
“I would like to thank you from the bottom of my hears, Pocahontas, for saving my life,” beamed Captain John Smith (military leader of the months-old Jamestown settlement). “I thought sure the Indians would have my hide, and you actually flung yourself over me as the Indians were about to club my head.Then as if you hadn’t already stuck your neck out for me, you pleaded for my release and return.I shall never forget you for this, Pocahontas.What can I possibly do for you in return?” cried Captain Smith. Pocahontas replied, “I want nothing in return; I want all of us to become united; to live in peace and harmony.” Captain Smith continued, “I really must give you something to show my gratitude to you….will you accept this token gold coin to always remember how important you are to me?” Captain Smith reaches in his pants pocket and pulls me out.
Naturally I am glad to be traded to a hero like Pocahontas. I just have this feeling she is going to accept me.I can tell by the way she is looking at Captain Smith. Yes, she holds out her courageous hand and I am clutched in her grip.Little does she know what greater tasks will wait the gentile Pocahontas. She put me in a little leather pouch which she always wears around her neck.We travelled together everywhere. We were frequent visitors in the settlement at Jamestown. We bore many gifts of food to relieve the hard-pressed settlers. She was so playful, everyone loved Pocahontas. Her friendship was instrumental in helping to preserve peace between the settlers and the Indians. Many nights we sat around a campfire and sang songs and told tales. The most exciting part was when someone would ask Pocahontas about saving Captain Smith’s life. She would get all excited and then open the pouch and show me off to all the settlers. Oh how shiny and beautiful I am! Everyone wants to hold me and look at me.It is rather exhausting being tossed around and heated up so hot by all the settlers’ hands. Yes, we had many a tale to tell, many a song to sin, and much excitement.
After Captain Smith returned to England, however, relations between the Indians and the settlers gradually deteriorated.Pocahontas and I seemed to have been abandoned by our English friends.Then Captain Argail took Pocahontas and me prisoners from the Indians and attempted to exchange us for some English prisoners held by the Indians.We were treated well, though, in our captive state.Captain Argall made sure we were quite comfortable and treated us with great courtesy. We were later converted to Christianity, although I was always a Christian.Pocahontas was christened Rebecca, and in 1614, with the approval of both Governor Sir Thomas Dale and Powhatan, she married John Rolfe, a settler who had experimentally introduced the tobacco culture to Virginia. In the spring of 1616, we all sailed with Governor Dale to England, where Mrs. Rolfe and I were presented at the court of James I.
We had quite a time of it in England. Oh, it was truly great to be home. I missed all the tea times and the prim and properness of England as compared to the life in the wilderness in the colonies. Life was easier in England, not full of hardship and fear like in the colonies. Pocahontas’ life was a very fulfilled one at that.We spent many years together. She always treasured me until one day in 1616, we parted ways. A servant was cleaning one of our rooms and saw me lying on the dresser. She snatched me up, put me in her pocket, and carried me off to her small apartment. Later, she was accused of this crime and many others and imprisoned for the rest of her life. No one found out.I was well hidden in the attic of a friend’s house.The servant left me in a trunk full of her ‘findings’.I was ignored for one hundred years. Finally, a child found me while playing in the attic of this old, decrypted house.The little Italian girl and her parents were visiting some friends in England. She pinched me and stared hypnotically at me.She wondered how much money I must be worth. We would play up in the attic for hours. She and her playmates would dress-up in all the old ball gowns that were stored in a trunk. They would laugh and giggle, but I especially noticed how the little Italian girl would light up as she gazed in the mirror while she was dressed up. She would look older, talk older, prance around, and giggle constantly. But she never showed me to anyone else.
The little Italian stayed in England with her family. They lived a very humble life. However, that was not what this little girl had in mind. She grew up and became one of the most notorious procurers in England. Her taste in gowns flourished. She became Madame Cornelys. The Madame ran a salon that attracted the wealthy and the noble. Her Carlisle House in Soho, London opened with great ‘pomp’ and offered gentlemen sophisticated balls and masquerades at which Madame Cornelys provided scores of great, beautiful women of the evening at equally great prices. Many women worked for the Madame, longing for a chance to eat good food, dance with wealthy noblemen, and wear lavish gowns. The little Italian girl from Tyrol herself had been the mistress of the great Casanova, giving him a son. Madame Cornelys’ place was the most talked-about salon in Europe. Horace Walpole wrote that she catered to “both the righteous and ungodly” customers. Royalty and members of parliament attended her masquerade balls regularly. Churchmen, however, begged the novelist and magistrate Sir John Fielding to close down this glorified house of prostitution. Fielding charged Ms. Cornelys with presenting dramatic performances without a license. This would enable them to open an investigation into her real activities as a brothel owner.A grand jury indictment later charged that “she does keep and maintain a common disorderly house, and does permit loose and idle persons, as well as men and women, to be and remain during the whole night, rioting and otherwise misbehaving themselves.”
Madame Cornelys was ruined.She sold off the lavish furnishings of the Carlisle House to support herself. Money was tight in England and I thought she would sell me outright. Heaven knows I had enough excitement, in the Madame’s possession. But she never sold me. We moved to Knightsbridge where the Madame opened another bordello, however, this one failed. Her notoriety prevented the wealthy from openly patronizing her. Madame Cornelys fell so low that she was sent to debtor’s prison in 1772 and died there seven years later. I, however, was briefly passed around hand-to-hand and once again found myself back in the Americas.
Once again, I was being traded, to a very powerful women and former slave named Harriet Tubman. The year was 1855; Harriet had successfully completed another journey across the Mason-Dixon Line. From 1855 to 1860, Harriet and I freed many Black slaves, thousands in fact.These ‘crossings’ on the five hundred miles of the underground railway to Canada, were dangerous, but at the same time so rewarding! Harriet never lost a passenger. It was as if a guardian angel was always present with us on our emancipation crusades. Tubman would sing to warn of her arrival guided at night by the North Star. Armed with a gun, she also made it clear that all would move on, or die. A reward of $40,000 was issued for Harriet. But that never stopped her. Tubman also sang and danced to old Maryland songs at rallies to raise money for the Anti-Slavery Society. Furthermore, during the Civil War, she dressed in the dark blue union uniform and in 1863, armed with a rifle; she and Colonel Montgomery led three hundred soldiers on a raid to free more than seven hundred slaves on the banks of the Combakee River. Thousands of Black slaves owed their freedom to Harriet, but I did a lot of praying for all of us. I have very fond memories of Harriet. In 1865, an ungrateful former slave stole me from Harriet. He sold me to a pawn shop and I sat on a shelf collecting dust, until a very adventurous journalist named Elizabeth Cochrane purchased me. The sales clerk recognized her a Nellie Bly (her pen name). I liked Nellie right away and knew we would have a lot of fun travelling together. Nellie became world famous when in 1890, she and I went around the world by boat, train, and horse in just over seventy-two days. This beat the fictional record set by Pileas Fogg in Jules Verne’s, “Around the World in Eighty Days”.
Throughout our travels together, Nellie covered social questions such as divorce, slum life, and conditions in Mexico for the various newspapers she wrote for. In 1887, she wrote for “New York World”, for which she exposed the conditions in which the insane lived by pretending to be mad and getting herself committed to the asylum on Blackwell’s Island. She took me with her. Talk about a bunch of crazies! I really got around with Nellie. I learned so much about the social conditions and cultures around the world.
Nellie was a very striking woman and certainly independent, but when she met Robert Seaman, a millionaire, she preferred to retire. Retirement for me was not as fun as travelling around the world. Robert and Nellie were very happy, considering he was fifty years her senior. Strangely enough though, Robert died in 1919 and Nellie died shortly after in 1922. I was sold off in the estate sale.
Little did I know my next owner would be one of the most fun women of all! I was purchased at the estate sale by the great Mae West. Mae was misunderstood by many. I, however, would like to think I knew the “inner” Mae. Probably the most fun we had together was in 1928, when she starred in the title role in the play, Diamond Lil, a character which later became her alter ego. Mae always took me with her for her good luck charm. Her public side became a fixture; she was a wisecracking, ironic brazen woman, sure of her fatal attraction to men and not embarrassed by it. Mae was what women needed in the 1920’s and 1930’s. Men were so used to dominating women, making them insecure of their own sexuality. Mae tried to show women that it was just fine to enjoy sex. In fact, Mae used her sexuality to level the playing field between men and women. In her own way, she tried to set women free. What used to enslave a woman to men, Mae was trying to show them could set them free.
Mae and I parted ways in the 1940’s when she passed me on to her faithful companion and maid, Betsy. Betsy worked for Mae for years. Betsy had a family of her own and gave me to her first grandchild, Megan Malone. Megan was a beautiful little child. She was fascinated with my shiny gold color.
Megan was an excellent swimmer. She used me for a good luck charm as well. We won many swimming meets. In fact, Megan won a scholarship to UCLA for swimming. We had a great college campus life. Then Megan met Alex. Alex was summa cum laude at UCLA, a graduating senior, being heavily recruited by top Fortune 500 companies. Alex was handsome, to say the least, a top athlete, and generally the most sought after bachelor at UCLA. Megan and Alex fell deeply in love. Alex’s career skyrocketed soon after graduation and Megan was still swimming and attending UCLA. A decision would have to be made; Alex was being transferred to San Francisco. Alex proposed marriage, Megan accepted. At the urging of her friends, she quit UCLA and competitive swimming and became Alex’s wife. They were the perfect couple. Alex did not want Megan to have a career; someone had to coordinate the building of their new home in San Francisco. Megan was very busy being the perfect corporate wife. As time went by, Alex and Megan had three wonderful children. Megan had a very happy home life. Even though their marriage was a very fulfilling one, Megan always wondered what it would have been like if she continued swimming and graduated from college. She often used to stare at me and say, “Would I have won the gold medal, would I have had a successful career, would I have owned my own company?” Even though she never let on to anyone else of her regrets, I knew how she felt. I knew there was a constant internal conflict of living in Alex’s shadow. In fact, one night she picked me up and said ”Oh, if I could only do it over again, I love my family, but I would have become the successful person that I always wanted to be.”…
“That’s the end of our little journey, Beatrice,” I told her. “You will wake up from this dream and remember all of its contents. It is no coincidence, Bea, that you are so strong, experienced, and determined to be successful. You see, it is your destiny to lead. Today, like in the past, you will do what you have to do to win and to make things happen. Your failures in the past have made you stronger. Concentrate on this Bea,” I lectured. “How do you seem to know about my past? “Bea asks me. “We just visited your past, Bea,” I told her.
Beatrice tossed and turned and woke up in a cold sweat! She leaped up out of the whirlpool, grabbed a towel and ran to the dresser. She picked me up and looked at me, then looked in the mirror and said, “Was I really there, or was it just a dream?”

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