Perfection

if you listen carefully, you get to hear everything you didn�t want to hear in the first place. � Sholom Aleichem

What are those things that we don�t want to hear?
Mainly, we don�t want to hear disagreement from people who are important to us.
We don�t want to hear that our children are making choices we wouldn�t make�
We don�t want to hear that our partner believes we are anything but perfect�
We don�t want to hear that our friend, our parent, our teacher, our boss, sees anything in us to criticize.
Poor us!
We know we aren�t perfect, but we can�t tolerate hearing it from someone else.
Why should that be?

We know other people aren�t perfect, either.
Where did we get the idea that we�re supposed to be error-free?
To accept our own imperfection is to make a giant step toward peace of mind.
To accept that the world is full of people who disagree with us � some of whom even love us very much � is to begin to achieve maturity.
Perhaps we think, or used to think, that we would be happy when we rubbed out our last traces of imperfection.
That is not happiness, that is to become marble � hard, cold, and breakable.

Pride works from within; it is the direct appreciation of oneself. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Pride, like all emotions, has two faces: one healthy and one sick. It is our challenge to use the healthy side well.

Sick pride fills us with ourselves, looks down on others, and has no room for generosity.
Healthy pride is heavy with humility. If we can feel joyful when we succeed, and tell others about it honestly, we are not being boastful.

Sick pride often keeps us from doing things because we are too proud to ask for help when we need it, or too proud to risk failure, or too proud to do anything that might not turn out perfect.
Healthy pride about our greatest victories always comes with the awareness that we did not do it all by ourselves.

We had the aid, advice, and encouragement of loved ones. In all things that really count, we never walk alone.