The most difficult aspect of any relationship is retaining one's own identity, the sense of one's self, in a world that seems to dictate and expect otherwise. Yet no relationship can mature beyond a simple live-in kind of convenience without it.
If we allow our loved ones freedom and space to grow and live their lives their way, we will grow also, and when we do this, a magical thing happens, we grow closer in ways we did not expect and could never have foreseen, and we grow stronger as a person.
Where would you like to be right now?
The myths by which we live our lives
do not allow for very much breathing room sometimes.
do not allow for very much breathing room sometimes.
We need the security of connection with someone special,
who is there because they want to be,
and because we want them to be.
But we also need the expansivenss of freedom.
It is this delicate balance that is so difficult to achieve in our lives.
who is there because they want to be,
and because we want them to be.
But we also need the expansivenss of freedom.
It is this delicate balance that is so difficult to achieve in our lives.
In every lasting, loving relationship
there is a haunting ambivalence we cannot deny but often do.
When we find someone who loves us unasking
and whom we grow to love and share our lives with,
we should not try to hide this ambivalence.
there is a haunting ambivalence we cannot deny but often do.
When we find someone who loves us unasking
and whom we grow to love and share our lives with,
we should not try to hide this ambivalence.
Our denial of these feelings will lead to separation,
as surely as these feelings exist. And they do exist.
Even though we do love, we also need the private,
individual experiences that show us our freedom.
No home is a prison if you know the door isn't locked.
as surely as these feelings exist. And they do exist.
Even though we do love, we also need the private,
individual experiences that show us our freedom.
No home is a prison if you know the door isn't locked.
There is nothing wrong with saying
"I liked it when you were gone for the last two weeks.
Now that you're home again I'm feeling boxed in.
I think we should spend some time away from each other each month."
If your lover loves you, he or she will understand.
"I liked it when you were gone for the last two weeks.
Now that you're home again I'm feeling boxed in.
I think we should spend some time away from each other each month."
If your lover loves you, he or she will understand.
If we lose our sense of individual,
we have nothing to offer those we love.
It is this maturing into love, this recognizing the individual in each of us
and the allowing of that individualness to grow and flourish
that gives us real peace in any lasting relationship.
we have nothing to offer those we love.
It is this maturing into love, this recognizing the individual in each of us
and the allowing of that individualness to grow and flourish
that gives us real peace in any lasting relationship.
When we are with our special lover, and it just feels right,
we are able to deal with this ambivalence
by going with it sometimes and retaining our right to do so.
And when we are with our lover we are able to honestly say,
"There is nowhere else I want to be at this moment."
we are able to deal with this ambivalence
by going with it sometimes and retaining our right to do so.
And when we are with our lover we are able to honestly say,
"There is nowhere else I want to be at this moment."
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