And don't think yourself special. Nobody is special, because everybody is special. Nobody is extraordinary, because everybody is extraordinary. And each moment of life is so full of the unknown that if you are alert and open, you will be surprised at each step. And when you are surprised at each step of life, and each moment brings new surprises, your life becomes a dance, a song, a celebration.
OSHO.
1. Human: What is a century like to you?
God: It is like a short second.
Human: What is billion dollars like to you?
God: Like a penny..
Human: Can i have a penny?
God: How funny.. just wait for a second..
2. Son: Pl tell me the difference between mom and wife?
Dad: It is so funny, one who brings you into this great world crying and the another ensures you continue crying\\3.
3. During a divorce proceeding...
Judge: Mr Bush, I have reviewed this case very carefully, and, I've decided to give your wife, $850 a week.
Mr Bush: That's very fair, Your Honor! And, every now and then, I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself.
4. Two drunks were walking back home through the railway tracks...
First drunk: This staircase is a hell of a lot of steps!
Second drunk: I'll tell you what's worse — this hand rail is bloody low down!
5. A man was noticed, drinking at a public place, by a police officer...
Police officer: I would like you to accompany me, to the police station.
Drunk man: Why? Aren't you confident of making it to the police station, on your own?
6. 1ST MAN : I think I'm spending too long on the computer, I'm starting to get spots in front of my eyes.
2ND MAN: Have you seen an optician?
1ST MAN: No, just spots.
7. A guy and his greedy annoying girlfriend went to a wishing well. The guy dropped a penny and made a wish. His girlfriend also wanted to make a wish! So, she bent over to drop her penny. But she leaned too much, lost her balance, fell down into the well and got drowned...
Guy: Wow, it really does work!
8. A minister was held at gunpoint by a robber, thinking him to be just another prey...
Robber: Give me your money.
Minister: Do you know I'm in the government?
Robber: In that case, give me my money.
9. A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's not sure, is WISE.
But, a man who surrenders when he's right, is a HUSBAND!
10. She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, but, was quickly back within a few seconds...
He: Who's that?
She: My husband!
He: I better get going then! Where was he?
She: Relax dear, he'll be late! He's playing snooker with you.
11. There was this man who spent all his weekends, fishing. One Sunday morning, he went to the river, as usual. But, as it was cold and raining, he decided to return.
He came back, went to his bedroom, undressed and lied down beside his sleeping wife. "What a terrible weather today, honey," he said to her. "Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!" she replied.
Awesome Blog.
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